12 yrs ago, from what I read yesterday afternoon, Jupiter and Neptune danced. About 12 years ago our lives changed as we started the process of leaving one country and starting a new 'dream-life' in another. Yesterday morning during the early hours 4 am ish, I awoke and felt inclined to youtube whale song and some planet sounds. At this time I consciously knew nada about the tango these two planets were doing again on their decade +2 circle around the dance floor. I was drawn to Neptune's song. I lay back down with these two youtube tabs open, with oceanic and cosmic sounds now gently washing over and through me from two little laptop speakers I'd placed either side of my head. Mercury also went retrograde in Libra.
A rather ambitious and wonderful idea came to me as I floated through the sea of space. I wonder if I can do it? It could be fabulous. I'm not sure if anything exactly like this exists already. Things similar - of course yes - but I will need to search deeper to see if 'this' is already happening in the way that came into my mind. But so what if it already is anyway? There's always room right?
I will be using the stellar weather as best I can. A good time for re-searching, with an appropriate Libra bias. I've not long bought some extra note pads. Good. They fill quickly at the best of times (Davinci has nothing on my nonsensical scrawlings ;) ) but this will take much proper thinking about and planning.
An important personal footnote.
I've thanked you privately. A small few in my world who actually seem to *see* me as they've healthily persisted beyond any of my habitual self negating deflections or small talk. You see I so want to trust, so I've trusted very few. I've really not been that accustomed to a deep level of understanding, belief and sustained encouragement, especially in my fields of interest. But from those few Brilliant people with Beautiful hearts, in repeating their 'mantras' with an uncommon unwavering affirming focus upon me, instead of on them (as is my typical 'pattern'), to the degree they have, I'm actually starting to trust them - to trust in myself. To believe them and believe in myself. ("finally!" I can hear some say ;))
Intellectually, you can know somethings, many things in fact. But those same things usually actually only sit on the periphery of awareness as the emotional habits are embedded deeply and can be really hard to reprogram. But a bit like freeing up memory when cleaning you pc's RAM, if you never do it, your pc will chock up, become a glitchy mess until it ceases to function. I've been doing a good decade's worth of regular "clearing" and reprogramming, but having genuine help from those who genuinely give a shit, makes one hell of a difference.
So again - from the depths of my heart. Thank you. I won't let you (nor me) down :)